Dear C.S.I,

No, you didn't ask for it, but as I sit here after another lackluster "Do I really give a crap?" episode of CSI Miami I think it's time I let the world (aka, my three readers) know exactly how I feel about your primetime-hogging inflated campaign to rule the world in forensic TV drama.

Boy it's hot...which must mean I'm in Miami. Hello CSI-by-the-sea. Oh look, David Caruso is either removing or donning his sunglasses while spouting something short and smart with his quiet, sturdy I'm-in-charge voice. How yesterday. Actually, how every-episode of him. This series used to have flash, now it's dull like my mother's mother's knife set. I think you ended last season with a cliff-hanger, and I think you wrapped it up when you premiered last month...but to be honest I neither A) remember nor B) care to figure it out. Is it the actors? Maybe. I'm too bored to bottom-line it for you; I can tell you we're about to gain an hour of space when we delete you from our DVR. *sunglasses off*

Let's travel North, to NY, and visit your forensic-siblings in that city. CSI NY is on our DVR, yes, but has always never risen above filler status. Filler Time (like Miller Time but totally different) is that time when nothing is on that we want to watch, so we toss on a 'filler show' to play in the background while we tap away on our laptops. It's like crappy Coors Lite - I don't go out of my way to buy it, but if it's in the fridge I'll drink it. I can't really pinpoint a reason for my lack-of-love for you - I like the lead guy, and the rest of the cast, but I've never been a fan of the female lead with the curly hair...whats-her-name. You were the last CSI to enter our living room, and it's possible we were just CSI-ed out. The good news? You'll be taking over Miami's slot, though I should be honest, I haven't seen one episode of NY yet this season.

Original is the way I like my KFC chicken, and definitely the way I order up my CSI. Hello Vegas! The first CSI to enter the playing field, and the only one that should be standing. Here's how much I love CSI Vegas; we watched this season's premiere online when we realized our DVR had not taped it. Huddling with your spouse over a laptop to catch a show? Well, that's commitment, baby. I love every actor in this show, I love the stories...and the plot that spanned many shows about the Miniature Killer? That was gold, and you grabbed us by the balls and reeled us in for good with that one. You hold a place in my heart, but more importantly you hold a top-rated place on my DVR.

I'm glad we got that sorted out.

Yours,

Nicci