Kids Say the Darndest Things

This morning we went to the doctors office for the Man's physical. I don't normally tag along like some naggy wife that insists on seeing the Dr., however the Man had wrist surgery last week - and can't drive (both our cars are standard). So off we went, me in the position of chauffeur.

While he was in with the Doc I was sitting outside the waiting room in the main lobby of the office building. I'm not a fan of hushed waiting rooms...and there was better people-watching in the lobby. As I'm sitting there a mother and her two almost-teenage sons came through...the sons each sat down in the lobby while the mom went into the pharmacy. As I flipped through my magazine I started listening to their conversation - I couldn't make this up if I tried:

Kid #1: "I wanted to gouge my eyes out this morning...felt like killing myself." (in jest)

Kid #2: "Why your eyes? I don't think that would kill you."

#1: "Yes it would, it pushes your brain and you die"

#2: "No, I don't think so..."

#1: "Yes, it does."

Kid #2 gets up, runs into the pharmacy and comes back a minute later, "Mom said it wouldn't kill you."

Kid #1: "Well it would, she's wrong."

At this point I must have missed something, or I was distracted by someone coming in the building, so you'll excuse me for not knowing how urine entered the conversation...

Kid #2: "Your pee is sterile, it can't kill you..."

Kid #1: "Yes it can. If your eyes are gouged out and someone pees in the eyehole you would die."

Kid #2: "No way! Your pee is sterile! It wouldn't kill you if you got pee in your eyehole!"

Kid #1: "Yes, you would die..."

At this point mom comes out of the pharmacy and they stand up to leave.

Kid #2: "Mom - tell him you would die if your eyes got gouged out and someone peed in the eyehole!!"

Mom looks at them, then looks at me apologetically.

Mom: "Are you guys really having this conversation right now?!"

Me: "Actually, I have to go home and Google it now because I have no idea what the answer would be. I'm pretty sure if my eyes are gouged out I have bigger problems then someone peeing on me!"

Mom cracks up, the kids look at me like they're not sure if I'm kidding or not and the three of them walk out of the building as I shake my head.

I'm back home now, and I'm not about to attempt to Google this as I A) have no idea how to start and B) don't want to see the nonsense that shows up when you Google 'pee' 'eyes gouged out' 'empty eye hole'.

I guess we'll never know...